Lessons Learned

It's been a long few weeks. I learned that just because I "finished" my MS, that doesn't mean it's ready to roll out the door. I finished the first draft weeks ago. But guess what? I just sent it off TODAY! That's crazy to me. Now I'm in the long, slow tortuous death phase of waiting for word, any kind of word that: a) it's been received, b) it's been read or c) it's been accepted/rejected.

I'm a first-timer so I'm in considerable angst with this one. I'm trying valiantly to concentrate on my next project.

A New Day

I started my new project today. I'm so psyched about it. I absolutely love it. Well, so far. I'm doing the classic "panster" thing on it so I'm sre I'll get to the hate stage pretty soon since I'll write myself into a corner.

Anyway ~ I noticed that I bounce from amazing heights of unfounded optimism to crashes of self doubt and toilet bowl levels of confidence. So it goes.

I think that's the life I'm trying to sign up for as a writer because I don't think those feelings are ever really going to go away, especially when I'm pushing myself into unknown territory.

Going Crazy

I just finished the fourth round of edits on my novella and I feel like my brain is going to ooze out onto the floor. The feedback that I received has been immensely helpful in many ways. First, it as great to get different opinions on what worked and what didn't before I send it away. Second, I also got to really think about the story in new ways based on the feedback.

I also learned that there is no such thing as perfect. Do I still love my idea, my characters, my story? I do and that is why I am going to send it off through the submission process. I can't control the outcome but I am proud of the part that I could control. That's really all any writer can do. The rest will unravel as it will.

Quote for Today

"This morning I took out a comma and this afternoon I put it back again."

~Oscar Wilde

Interruptions

I'm in the middle of pretty major changes and this is what I look up to ~ a seriously ticked off doggie. I've been slightly ignoring him over the last several days. Today is going to be more of the same for him. I am halfway through combing through another round of revisions. But I think my story is getting close to final.

I'm going to finish it up today and start on another idea that I have.

Still editing...

I'm having a tough time of it. I thought I was all done with my edits then I let it sit for a bit and realized that I had to significantly change the opening scene. I didn't start close enough to the action. I really liked my old opening but I couldn't let myself love the words so much that it slowed the pace of everything.

So I'm slogging through, praying I don't lose what I loved about my story.

I also realized today that I have some pretty bad work habits. I get up. I pace. I play with my hair. I eat. I eat. I eat. All this takes time away from writing. I don't think it's procrastination. I think I do it to calm down ~ because I'm too nervous to commit to the writing. I'm not sure if that makes sense but it's different than my procrastination mode. That goes something more like: Let's see what's on Tivo. I need to walk the dog. Gotta clean the kitchen.

But I'm getting to know myself as a writer even more than I did before. I'm going to sumbit my novella and keep my fingers crossed. My confidence is very low but I won't get anywhere if I don't even try...

Date with Destiny

Carlos Zambrano's no-hitter has been eagerly anticipated by Cubs' fans like myself. I knew he could do it. It was just a matter of when. So when it did happen last night, it felt destined but he worked so hard over so many years and put in hours upon hours of blood sweat and tears to achieve it.

As Zambrano took the mound for the bottom of the ninth inning, I thought to myself, this is his date with destiny, to write his own history. It doesn't matter if you're a baseball fan or even a sports fan but just to be able to see someone achieve their dream, knowing the work that went into that achievement is a sight to behold. Ultimately, we all want to position ourselves for the ultimate achievement in our chosen pursuits.