Beautiful Reading

Ok, so I just finished a wonderful book: Angels & Insects, by AS Byatt. Given that I have spent my summer on junk food reading binges, I was happy to take this one on -- and happy in my reward for my perseverance.

Her writing is just so beautiful, so evocative. I can't wait to read more of her work. I think that I will read Possession next. I believe that a movie was made with Gwyneth Paltrow? I could be wrong but I did enjoy the movie. I know that shows my low-browness but I like to be well-versed on all sides of the cultural fence.

So, to avoid falling into that embarassingly large group of Americans who manage to make it through a year without reading one single book, I will add Possession to me list but here's my To-Be-Read list so far:

• Slaughterhouse Five, Vonnegut
  
• Atlas Shrugged, Ayn Rand
  
• Watership Down, Richard Adams

Ok, I will still read my fave vampire romance fiction as well: JR Ward will be out with her next Brotherhood novel, Lover Unbound. I also discovered Twilight, by Stephanie Meyer that I have to dig into as well.

With so many books to read, it's just so inconceivable to me that people would not read.

Oh and UPDATE: my sig oth and I have started a book club. That's why I'm reading Slaughterhouse Five! I'm so happy that we're reading together!

My New Friend: Big Red

We have a nightly visitor, a friend who contributes to the well-being of the house. He's our buddy, Big Red.

Big Red sets up each evening on our back porch. At first I was scared of him. He is rather large and dangerous looking and probably hairy. I shiver.

But, as I let him stay, his webs have gotten larger and he's moved them away from the back door so that I no longer have to immediately duck to face planting in the web (and possibly getting an angry spider in my big, bushy hair).

I have never actually witnessed him setting up shop for the night but when I come out in the evenings, his web is perfect but as the night moves along, he gets these snags in the webbing. I am hoping this means he caught some dinner.

Reading: I Just Get Sleepy

Wanting to be a writer, I find it crucial that I understand why people do or do not read. Even still, when I think back to all the people that I have known in my life, I can neatly divide them into categories of readers and non-readers, or rather, people I like and people I don’t like.

There is one embarrassing exception to this rule, which pains me greatly – my sig other. He is a non-reader. I hate to admit this publicly but I guess it’s time that I outed him.

Oh, he knows how to read and occasionally I do catch him in the act. But I hardly think Day Trading for Dummies (ten minutes before falling asleep) counts.

Call me snooty.

And then there’s this CNN article on Americans’ reading habits. Don’t get me wrong. I like to sleep and I too am torn between Internet, TV on demand, Tivo and any other form of entertainment. But what happened to self-improvement? What happened to developing one’s mind?

Scary stat from the article: One in four adults say they read no books at all in the past year. Not to their children. Nada. Nothing.

That scares me. I like this schlub:

"I just get sleepy when I read," said Richard Bustos of Dallas, Texas, a habit with which millions of Americans can doubtless identify. Bustos, a 34-year-old project manager for a telecommunications company, said he had not read any books in the last year and would rather spend time in his backyard pool.

And I’d rather eat cupcakes all day. I bet he’s fat too!

Meow!

Read it and weep.

Working From Home

I should now consider myself lucky. I am going to be working from home for my new DJ and this is going to give me a considerable amount of freedom over my schedule. I hope. This means that I can spend those hours that I used to spend commuting to and from work, finishing up my first draft of my book.

A New DJ. A New Sense of Purpose.

I got a new DJ today (Day Job). I can't explain the relief and sense of belonging and purpose that I feel. I know that I ranted against my old DJ but I'm happy to have one again. I need the income...gotta keep the power bill paid so that I can blog and work on my novel.

And now I can celebrate. I've been wanting a new stereo and solar panels...even a composter. Should I splurge?!? I just feel so darn good.

AND... I have 55,000 words in my first ever manuscript. I am so close to being done yet it still feels far. Never having been at this point before, I don't know how I am supposed to feel. I just have to finish the darn thing. Sometimes I love what I am doing but mostly, I hate it! It's been hard work. No one ever warned me of that. Just kidding.

I knew it was going to be a hard, long and lonely road but it's never felt so good!

Hurt So Good

I'm back to writing again and it hurts. It hurts to stop for so long then pick up the story again. All my writing muscles have gone back to flab. I can feel the layer of fat and cellulite over all the once finely honed muscle. I've been gorging myself on television and Harry Potter and paranormal romance novels and now I have to return to my own brain's creation.

And she's angry that I've left her so long to stew. I think she may punish me with at least eight hours of vain strivings, of writing that leads no where, of pages that will need to be cut.

But she will yield because she can't live without me even though I'm a bad partner. She will accept me when I come back tomorrow and be a little sweeter. Just enough so I can eek out my page count.

Who Does Depression Hurt?

The Weimaraner, of course. Just kidding but really, the funk is starting to set in over not having a job and over the ex-job drama. Yesterday, all the ex-coworkers were feverishly emailing and calling with wild rumor that the company was rescinding already deposited paycheck funds from accounts. This turned out to be false. But it brought up all the old drama and panic that I thought I'd gotten over.

I just don't know if I want to even hear from any of them anymore. Meow! I know that's bitchy but I can't stand checking my email for word from from my former boss with job leads. Maybe it would be best if I just looked for a whole new separate opportunity all on my own.

And got down to writing again...

Oh yeah, that!

I have been reading quite a bit and I even went to the bookstore and spent money I shouldn't have on more books. I need to get a grip. I guess there's always temping. That way I can get some money coming in here quickly and not have to worry about bills.

Not Again

So I didn't write again. Yikes ... this is why it's so hard to get a book published. I just fgured it out! It's the writing that makes the publishing thing go so badly. Big fat whatever! I'm on the road, just taking in a little scenery right now.

I did clean my office and I did some job hunting. Actually, I got job-hunted from posting my resume on Monster. That's pretty cool. I like how that feels. Hunt me, dammit!

And I am back to blogging but it's that whole if the tree fell in the forest and no one was there to hear it thingy...

I crack myself up. Good thing too because there's no one else to make laugh.

Not so bad

Well, the heart palptitions have finally subsided and I don't feel like puking at every turn. The knots in my stomach have also loosened a bit. Maybe, hey just maybe I'm enjoying this whole unemployment thing. Tomorrow I am going to clean my office, send out some resumes and write!

I simply enjoyed my Sunday like I would any other Sunday. I started a new Vampire Romance series -- Kiss of Midnight by Lara Adrian. I loved it so much that I finished and ran right out to buy book 2 in the series.There were flavors of Lynn Viehl and JR Ward but still different enough to be a treat.

I needed this kind of mental break from all the strain of losing my job, of waiting to see if I get another job offer, of sending resumes. Since my health insrance coverage was rudely ended effective two days ago, I really need to learn to chill for a bit. I thought the stress of this whole thing was going to send my to the hospital. No joke. I know how pitiful that sounds. It's just a job after all, right? Right, she asks, hysteria rising.

And I was one of those people who swore that I didn't define myself by my DJ ... and I don't, I didn't. But there is just something so awful about being laid off. It's like I was a sucker, asleep at the wheel, merrily coming into work and giving it my all - believing in my company leadership, believing we would weather the storm by tightening our belts and buckling down to work harder with less.

Sucker!

Well, at least I had my Sunday and stopped hearing that little voice in my head calling me a fool for hanging on as the ship went down. At least I found a great new read! Go out and buy it!

Collateral Damage

Yes, that's me ... and my job. I was let go from my DJ. I know I complained here sometimes but I couldn't afford to lose it. My company folded because of the downturn in the housing market and I'm a casualty of that downturn. I've been an emotional wreck and have not written in about 3 weeks. Now more than ever, I need to gather the people and things around me that will lift me back up.