Friday, November 16, 2007

Eating and writing

I've been a bad writer. Yes, I guess in that way too. But really remiss in keeping up with my goals. My sister in law said something that perked me up. It had nothing to do with my writing but rather it was about eating habits. She said that when I had a bad day of hogging down cupcakes and chips, washing it all day with full-cal soda, I seemed able to just turn the page on it and go back to my healthy ways the very next day.

I want to apply that to my writing self.

I need to get back to my healthy writing. Deep breaths. Letting go of the guilt now...

Friday, October 26, 2007

Little Victories

I guess I should start by saying that I write for a living - sorta. My occupation is in marketing & communications. I used to really like what I did from nine to five. It was creative enough and paid the bills. But it's not ambitious enough for me anymore. Only about a quarter of my brain is ever really engaged at one time. And, frankly, if more of me were engaged in what was happening around me, I'd probably want to slit my throat with a dull instrument and, while I was bleeding out, I'd start on my wrists.

I always wanted to work for Corporate America... and now I do.

But today I experienced a minor victory, one that I am trying to keep to myself lest some Corporate Jockey ride by and take a squat on it. I submitted copy that was accepted with very minor revision. Usually, I experience someone or groups of someone rewriting my copy or asking me to rewrite the copy because a) they didn't provide all the project details up front, b) they want to change the direction of the copy because they've changed their minds or remembered something that wasn't communicated to me c) they hate their job and secretly want to be a writer (this is one of my faves) or d) they're just schizo!

So ~ minor vicotry on Project #1. Rewriting Pojects 2,3 and 4.

I also managed to write on my WIP while I as on business travel. I didn't log a ton of words but I was happy with the writing and pleased that I used my scant free time wisely. Oh, and I wisely used some not-so-free time as well. One of my sessions was super dull so I wrote 1,200 words long-hand and transcribed them later in my shared hotel room.

Sunday, October 21, 2007

Traveling Sales(wo)man

I have to go out of town on a business trip for my DJ today. I hate leaving my family and my home. And I hate that it's taking me away from my familiar writing setup. I am, however, taking my personal laptop (in addition to the PC clunker that is standard-sissued by the Company).

This trip is different in that I have to share a room with a co-worker. Gross. I mean me, in all likelihood. But, as a writer, I need a certain amount of "me" time that sharing a room just doesn't allow. So I'm dreading this trip.

But I will get some writing done even if only to spare myself from the forced conversation of sharing a room.

Friday, October 19, 2007

Funny Thing I Did... After I Made My Word Count for the Day!

First, I made my word count goal fr the day! Yay. Another success with getting up and hitting the writing straight away. I feel good about myself when I do this and, funny enough, it makes me feel like I can tackle anything else that might come up because I've already accomplished this major goal.

So, yeah, writing improves my Day Job considerably. Or at least my attitude about the DJ.

Well, this is the funny thing that I found when blog-reading this morning over at Alice Audrey's blog. This is so spot-on for my personality. I thought I'd share.



YOU ARE BASIL
Take this quiz!

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Big Bang Theory

I'm going to be redesigning the site soon. So I'll have a new look shortly. It's funny but the look of the blog is kinda like my first real apartment when I lived by myself. I lived amongst cardboard boxes and my crap TV was perched on a broken-legged coffee table that I got at the local Salvation Army.

Not that this blog is as grunge as my old digs but... it could use some interior decoration.

Yeah. Things are going to start happening around here. I can't as yet say when or what or how. But, yes, things.

And I'm hoping to birth this WIP that I'm working on. I'm 12 months pregnant now; it hurts! But it will all happen at once, as things in my life tend to. All is quiet, until it's not. And then - BANG!

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

What works for you?

Whew! I did my word count for Sven today. I think I need to prioritize the writing for the mornings because that's when I'm at my best. I got up and hit the WIP first thing instead of trying to make time for it later in my day with everything else that is going on. Well, I guess that's what it's all about... finding what works for you!

Back on it tomorrow!

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Ridiculous Job


I don't know how I reached this low point with my job but I, apparently unlike Britney Spears, believe that I have hit my low point. I spent my entire day basically making telemarketing calls. WTF?!?!

I desperately need a new day job. But perhaps the utter ridiculousness of my situation will be enough of a kick in the pants that I actually do something with my sad life. Like finish my book.

I still need to finish the last few, ok... five, chapters. Depression city. Well, The Office is on tonight. At least I have that...

Monday, October 1, 2007

I've Fallen in Love

So I'm on the writing schtick again. I have my work open in front of me and I'm re-reading a bit so I can get the lay of the land again. I just want to finish for Pete's sake.

I think I've fallen in love with my next book idea. It came to me as I lay in bed, half asleep, half awake. I personally think that most of my better ideas come to me this way. In either case, I will vaguely sketch out the idea but I will not allow myself to work on it until I have finished the current beast.

Saturday, September 29, 2007

I Was Unfair...


I should have at least finished reading the book (Lover Unbound) entirely before I posted my comments. I realize that now.

Having now finished, I still feel the same as I did yesterday. Not the best in the series. However, I didn't think that the ending was as much of a disappointment as some other readers felt it was. It was not a satisfying ending but hey, we are talking about a paranormal book here.

I can only hope that the series picks up and gives the fans a better read next time around. This is still a great series but my verdict stands.

Friday, September 28, 2007

Bored by Unbound

I have been a big fan of the series. I loved the first three books without reservation. Book four, Butch, was good but not as good as the others.

Lover Unbound is V's story. He is the alpha Brother of the Black Dagger Brotherhood. his book has been highly anticipated by her fans and readers for months, if not years!

This book has some serious issues right off the bat - one of which could have been solved with a good round of editing. It's just too long - unnecessarily so. In fact, I would have cut the prologue entirely and just woven it into the book, as Ward goes over this territory throughout the story as we get to know the heroine, Jane, and V.

Ward posted the supposed first lines of V's book on the message boards months ago. Her editor should have told her to stick with that as the opening. It was much stronger.

Another problem was that I found the set up for the next book way more compelling than the relationship at the heart of this book. Maybe it's because I just didn't fall for Jane. In romance novels, the reader has to fall in love with the characters.

I just didn't really like Jane. Her emotional pain that made her a vulnerable character just wasn't strong enough. So Jane just comes across as kinda dull, very smart but just not all that interesting or unique.

I will still read the series but the writing/editing needs to be tighter. Also, there was way too much slang that was not even common knowledge stuff. What was the editor thinking?!?!

Anyway ~ I have another 100 pages to read so I don't want to call the game just yet but I am wary. I've read the disappointing reviews from other readers who were expecting so much more from this book. Vishous is, after all, most of the readers' favorite Brother.

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

I Made It: Interviews Behind Me & I'm Unbound

I managed to pull myself together for the second interview. No small shakes for Ms. Moody herself. I think today is going to be a better day. Lover Unbound comes out today! Yay! I'm super excited about that.

I have been waiting for this book since the series began way back with Dark Lover . No shame in my game; I'm a dope fiend for these books. I have been looking forward to this book the most. So, I may sneak away and go buy the book at lunchtime and then try to sit through the rest of the day without reading it but with half my mind on it. Whew: I think that was a really long, bad sentence but that's what exuberance will do to a girl who's been kept waiting.

More to come on this topic. I'm going to dish on this book like nobody's business! I must be off to the DJ now. [The one where I'm working from home.]

Monday, September 24, 2007

DJ Depression

I'm depressed today. Maybe it's the lack of caffeine early on in the day and a hormonal thing but I'm just not coming to the game with my good stuff today. Maybe it's because I had yet another job interview and I felt like I sucked. I just don't think that my heart was in it.

I want to write for a living! I don't want another sucky DJ.

In any case, I have another job interview scheduled for tis afternoon. I really can't afford to blow it so I have to dust myself off and plaster a smile on my face. I have to say the right things; I know that I am qualified for all the jobs hat I have interviewed for.

Well, I now have the coffee in hand. I am praying that straightens me out. I have to bring it like my man, Carlos Zambrano!

Friday, September 21, 2007

My Alias

Besides loving the show Alias, I chose to use an alias of my own here at this blog. I didn't put a lot of thought into the alias. Part of me wishes that I had because I can't really change it now. Here are my concerns with it: 1) I'm not published 2) I am lazy about writing most days 3) I hate my writing most days 4) it's certainly not been easy.

The frustrated part is dead-on.

I work at a large company and use this forum to rant against the DJ quite a bit. The last thing that I need is to have my co-workers finding my blog and using it against me.

As for my writing, I need a big push to get through to the end. According to my outline, I have only five chapters left to write. I'm one of those people who, for whatever screwed up childhood reason, gets frightened of potential success. And, finishing this beast would be a success for me. I just need to wrap it up.

This weekend will be a big writing weekend for me. I just want to post a blog that says: I'm finished!

Monday, September 17, 2007

Heavenly Things

I finally did it. I broke down and got an iPhone. Actually, it wasn't painful at all. My sig other gave me his store credit Apple offered to customers who bought the gadget at full price. So, I used that to rationalize the purchase.

It's a beautiful object. My favorite thing about this phone is that it interfaces with iTunes and iPhoto so it's a complete Mac experience.

And, today couldn't get any better because I got a copy of the galleys for Evermore, Lynn Viehl's new book that I've been dying to read. I just have to make it through to the end of the day and get some work done before I slack off and read. I've been so pumped about reading this book but even more than that, it's just really awesome for the author to send this to me, a complete nobody in the publishing world, to read it. I hope to be so cool some day when I am published and living whatever version of the dream that I am able to live. I want to be as generous and helping and sharing as she has been through her blog.

Seriously cool lady.

And, I finished a chapter in my manuscript that I had been struggling with for weeks. The guilt was more extreme than the writing task but I made it over the hump. It actually wasn't even that difficult of a scene to finish. I just couldn't get my mojo working. So, that was a great experience yesterday. Actually, my sig other pried me from the sofa (almost literally) and made me go to my little office at the top of the stairs and finish my work. He can be alternately awesome and totally pesky or both at the same time.

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Freaky Feral

So I'm minding my own business in my dinky little home office when I hear this scratch, scratch, thump outside my door. Strange. I'm on the second floor and who could have gotten up to my second floor balcony unnoticed... well, my new friend, Freaky Feral.

He looks tranquil all obscured by the sun but he looked down on my as if I were nothing but a chubby field mouse, an afternoon snack. Cats have that way about them. I think he contemplated jumping on my head at one point but then he just settled into a few standard America's Next Top Model poses for me -- throwing out his chest and arching his back.

I told him to channel an owl. He told me to piss off. He's got talent and 'tude.

Meow!

Saturday, September 8, 2007

Anticipation


Here is one of the many books that I am anxiously awaiting to hit the shelves. I've snapped up all the books in Ms Viehl's Darkyn series and this one will be no exception.

If you haven't read any of her other novels in this series, you can catch up by reading If Angels Burn, Dark Need, Private Demon and Night Lost -- in that order -- until Evermore releases in January '08. These are fun, dark and sexy novels that have earned "keeper" status on my shelf.

If you want to keep up with the author herself, her blog is one of my first, must-reads of the morning. Visit her here.

Happy reading... and please come back and thank me for the tip!

Tuesday, September 4, 2007

Simple Things

As everyone knows, I was laid-off from my day job. I had a love/hate relationship with it but at the end of the day, I was one of those people who was fortunate enough to at least like what I did to make ends meet. I met up with one of my friends from the old job for lunch today. Turns out that she's been quote a busy bee making this wonderful quilt for me:



I also quilt, not quite as often or as prodigiously as I'd like to, so I know how much work went into this quilt. It's truly a labor of love and I am so happy that it was made for me.

We had lunch and tea, things that our normal busy lives hadn't really afforded us time to enjoy. Now, we got to get together and just enjoy the simple things: a good BLT at a little, local sandwich shop, tea and pastries and catching up with each other.

Yeah, I know. I am "working from home." And I am working but I get to be a little more free with my schedule now. I turned in my assignment that was due today - a short newsletter article. I am embarrassed to say that I sweated each word. Sad but true. My writing mojo is still on summer break.

But friendships are not.

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Beautiful Reading

Ok, so I just finished a wonderful book: Angels & Insects, by AS Byatt. Given that I have spent my summer on junk food reading binges, I was happy to take this one on -- and happy in my reward for my perseverance.

Her writing is just so beautiful, so evocative. I can't wait to read more of her work. I think that I will read Possession next. I believe that a movie was made with Gwyneth Paltrow? I could be wrong but I did enjoy the movie. I know that shows my low-browness but I like to be well-versed on all sides of the cultural fence.

So, to avoid falling into that embarassingly large group of Americans who manage to make it through a year without reading one single book, I will add Possession to me list but here's my To-Be-Read list so far:

  • Slaughterhouse Five, Vonnegut
  • Atlas Shrugged, Ayn Rand
  • Watership Down, Richard Adams

Ok, I will still read my fave vampire romance fiction as well: JR Ward will be out with her next Brotherhood novel, Lover Unbound. I also discovered Twilight, by Stephanie Meyer that I have to dig into as well.

With so many books to read, it's just so inconceivable to me that people would not read.

Oh and UPDATE: my sig oth and I have started a book club. That's why I'm reading Slaughterhouse Five! I'm so happy that we're reading together!

Friday, August 24, 2007

My New Friend: Big Red

We have a nightly visitor, a friend who contributes to the well-being of the house. He's our buddy, Big Red.

Big Red sets up each evening on our back porch. At first I was scared of him. He is rather large and dangerous looking and probably hairy. I shiver.

But, as I let him stay, his webs have gotten larger and he's moved them away from the back door so that I no longer have to immediately duck to face planting in the web (and possibly getting an angry spider in my big, bushy hair).

I have never actually witnessed him setting up shop for the night but when I come out in the evenings, his web is perfect but as the night moves along, he gets these snags in the webbing. I am hoping this means he caught some dinner.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Reading: I Just Get Sleepy

Wanting to be a writer, I find it crucial that I understand why people do or do not read. Even still, when I think back to all the people that I have known in my life, I can neatly divide them into categories of readers and non-readers, or rather, people I like and people I don’t like.

There is one embarrassing exception to this rule, which pains me greatly – my sig other. He is a non-reader. I hate to admit this publicly but I guess it’s time that I outed him.

Oh, he knows how to read and occasionally I do catch him in the act. But I hardly think Day Trading for Dummies (ten minutes before falling asleep) counts.

Call me snooty.

And then there’s this CNN article on Americans’ reading habits. Don’t get me wrong. I like to sleep and I too am torn between Internet, TV on demand, Tivo and any other form of entertainment. But what happened to self-improvement? What happened to developing one’s mind?

Scary stat from the article: One in four adults say they read no books at all in the past year. Not to their children. Nada. Nothing.

That scares me. I like this schlub:

"I just get sleepy when I read," said Richard Bustos of Dallas, Texas, a habit with which millions of Americans can doubtless identify. Bustos, a 34-year-old project manager for a telecommunications company, said he had not read any books in the last year and would rather spend time in his backyard pool.

And I’d rather eat cupcakes all day. I bet he’s fat too!

Meow!

Read it and weep.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Working From Home

I should now consider myself lucky. I am going to be working from home for my new DJ and this is going to give me a considerable amount of freedom over my schedule. I hope. This means that I can spend those hours that I used to spend commuting to and from work, finishing up my first draft of my book.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

A New DJ. A New Sense of Purpose.

I got a new DJ today (Day Job). I can't explain the relief and sense of belonging and purpose that I feel. I know that I ranted against my old DJ but I'm happy to have one again. I need the income...gotta keep the power bill paid so that I can blog and work on my novel.

And now I can celebrate. I've been wanting a new stereo and solar panels...even a composter. Should I splurge?!? I just feel so darn good.

AND... I have 55,000 words in my first ever manuscript. I am so close to being done yet it still feels far. Never having been at this point before, I don't know how I am supposed to feel. I just have to finish the darn thing. Sometimes I love what I am doing but mostly, I hate it! It's been hard work. No one ever warned me of that. Just kidding.

I knew it was going to be a hard, long and lonely road but it's never felt so good!

Monday, August 13, 2007

Hurt So Good

I'm back to writing again and it hurts. It hurts to stop for so long then pick up the story again. All my writing muscles have gone back to flab. I can feel the layer of fat and cellulite over all the once finely honed muscle. I've been gorging myself on television and Harry Potter and paranormal romance novels and now I have to return to my own brain's creation.

And she's angry that I've left her so long to stew. I think she may punish me with at least eight hours of vain strivings, of writing that leads no where, of pages that will need to be cut.

But she will yield because she can't live without me even though I'm a bad partner. She will accept me when I come back tomorrow and be a little sweeter. Just enough so I can eek out my page count.

Wednesday, August 8, 2007

Who Does Depression Hurt?

The Weimaraner, of course. Just kidding but really, the funk is starting to set in over not having a job and over the ex-job drama. Yesterday, all the ex-coworkers were feverishly emailing and calling with wild rumor that the company was rescinding already deposited paycheck funds from accounts. This turned out to be false. But it brought up all the old drama and panic that I thought I'd gotten over.

I just don't know if I want to even hear from any of them anymore. Meow! I know that's bitchy but I can't stand checking my email for word from from my former boss with job leads. Maybe it would be best if I just looked for a whole new separate opportunity all on my own.

And got down to writing again...

Oh yeah, that!

I have been reading quite a bit and I even went to the bookstore and spent money I shouldn't have on more books. I need to get a grip. I guess there's always temping. That way I can get some money coming in here quickly and not have to worry about bills.

Monday, August 6, 2007

Not Again

So I didn't write again. Yikes ... this is why it's so hard to get a book published. I just fgured it out! It's the writing that makes the publishing thing go so badly. Big fat whatever! I'm on the road, just taking in a little scenery right now.

I did clean my office and I did some job hunting. Actually, I got job-hunted from posting my resume on Monster. That's pretty cool. I like how that feels. Hunt me, dammit!

And I am back to blogging but it's that whole if the tree fell in the forest and no one was there to hear it thingy...

I crack myself up. Good thing too because there's no one else to make laugh.

Sunday, August 5, 2007

Not so bad

Well, the heart palptitions have finally subsided and I don't feel like puking at every turn. The knots in my stomach have also loosened a bit. Maybe, hey just maybe I'm enjoying this whole unemployment thing. Tomorrow I am going to clean my office, send out some resumes and write!

I simply enjoyed my Sunday like I would any other Sunday. I started a new Vampire Romance series -- Kiss of Midnight by Lara Adrian. I loved it so much that I finished and ran right out to buy book 2 in the series.There were flavors of Lynn Viehl and JR Ward but still different enough to be a treat.

I needed this kind of mental break from all the strain of losing my job, of waiting to see if I get another job offer, of sending resumes. Since my health insrance coverage was rudely ended effective two days ago, I really need to learn to chill for a bit. I thought the stress of this whole thing was going to send my to the hospital. No joke. I know how pitiful that sounds. It's just a job after all, right? Right, she asks, hysteria rising.

And I was one of those people who swore that I didn't define myself by my DJ ... and I don't, I didn't. But there is just something so awful about being laid off. It's like I was a sucker, asleep at the wheel, merrily coming into work and giving it my all - believing in my company leadership, believing we would weather the storm by tightening our belts and buckling down to work harder with less.

Sucker!

Well, at least I had my Sunday and stopped hearing that little voice in my head calling me a fool for hanging on as the ship went down. At least I found a great new read! Go out and buy it!

Friday, August 3, 2007

Collateral Damage

Yes, that's me ... and my job. I was let go from my DJ. I know I complained here sometimes but I couldn't afford to lose it. My company folded because of the downturn in the housing market and I'm a casualty of that downturn. I've been an emotional wreck and have not written in about 3 weeks. Now more than ever, I need to gather the people and things around me that will lift me back up.

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

2,761

That's my word count for the writing challenge. Not very impressive for three days of writing. Gulp. I have some serious making up to do. I am flying to the left coast tomorrow so I can rev this up rather quickly with some free time coming up.

I'm mostly packed but that doesn't mean I'm not a complete mess. I risked hanging some clothes on the line tonight. When my sig oth asked if it was going to rain, I said - eh, I don't think so. Well, it's pouring and I run down the stairs and wrench open the door -- causing the alarm to go wild. Oopsies.

Now all that stuff is sucking down energy and belching out CO2.

I'll miss my doggie. He has an appointment with an orthopedic vet tomorrow that I'm going to miss. He is going to check out the doggie's ACL. We're hoping he didn't blow out his knee but he's favoring it.

Monday, July 9, 2007

I'm sweatin already...I swear!

So, I began an online writing challenge. My first day, I did 1,501 words. I feel like I should have done at least 2,000 so I'm going to have to pick up the pace. Day 1 wasn't easy and Day 2, well I'm just sitting down at 8:30 pm to get started. Let's hope that outline I did carries me through today's session.

I may have to start preparing a bit more for my sit-down-and-write time. I just can't be wingin' 2000 words on a daily basis for 70 straight days with no plan. I'm not that smart. There, I said it. Quote me.

Anyhow...no time for cleverness here. I have to save it for my characters!

Sunday, July 8, 2007

Visualizing Success

What will the cover of my book look like? How will it look on my bookshelf next to my favorite authors? What font will will the designer use for my title and name? What about colors?

Lately, I've taken a bunch of motivational classes on how to set and achieve my goals and visualizing success is one of the most powerful things, in my opinion, that I've heard. And it's also extremely fun. So, today I was wondering what my book cover is going to look like. I think I'm going to take some time today and create a sketch and put my name in lights so to speak.

Ok, I'll meet my word count goals first!

And before anyone goes crazy and reminds me that I'll have no control whatsoever over the cover, relax! I know this. Making my cover will just be my own little exercise. And maybe if it's not too embarrassing, I'll post it here.

Saturday, July 7, 2007

My Boy

I don't want to write in here right now. We just found out that our poor little dog has to have knee surgery and we're devastated. We know a few people who have had to go through this and we know that their dogs all turned out fine but it's just another blow for our happy-go-lucky guy.

Ever since we got him, it's been one thing or another. He's going on the DL for the next 8 weeks and we'll have to see him go through serious pain. My heart is sad and I can't write about writing.

Wednesday, July 4, 2007

Organic Girl Eschews Plan!

I've been thinking about my writing style -- not the style of my writing but rather, the way that I approach writing. While I'd like to say that I am 100% "on it" every day, I'm more like a 'do everything else then write' kinda gal. I want to change that.

So, toward that end, I joined an accountability group where I am supposed to report my accomplishments or lack-of, each month. But I'm finding that a hardcore procrastinator like myself needs way more frequent check-ins. So, I'm not sure that I should re-up for this next group.

So now for some public accounting of what I did accomplish: month 1 - met goal. Month 2 - did not meet goal. Month 3 - did not meet goal. Ouch! I owe some people some money.

I've read some writers describe their work as more "organic" in terms of approach and planning. That sounds charitable and forgiving. Too much so? It appeals to my lazy, unaccountable self though and I want that label.

I claim it. I own it.

To be honest, I have each chapter of my book fully outlined and a synopsis written of each chapter... blah, blah. And I am more or less still following the plan. It's just the rebel in me I 'spose. I just don't like plans, er, um sticking to them.

I've changed direction a couple of times on this project when I thought change would really benefit the work. Only time will tell but I'm happy when I hit these forks in the road of my boring ol' plan!

Monday, July 2, 2007

Even Good Dogs Get the Blues


I've had it! That's what I said to my poor dog after coming back from the vet with the cat, after working a long, long day for "the man." I just wanted to eat ice cream from the container. And that's what I did. Ben & Jerry's Cherry Garcia. Now I'm bloated and disgusting feeling.

Cup of coffee is at the ready because now I begin my night job of writing. And it's going well and feeling good. I've managed to turn the ship back to shore. I'm halfway to the end and I think (crosses fingers) that I know how to get there.

Here's the pup on a Monday morn. He knew there was a better way than rushing out the door. He's proving the theory of inertia. God Bless him!

Sunday, July 1, 2007

Up and Away!

Baseball has a language all its own and one that I am still learning. I love all the man drama -- fighting over calls, talking stats, roster moves or reading signs. It's always a ride. Now that I am a fan (and I almost wasn't given my raising outside of Philly, nuf said), I can't find the game boring. Ok, there are duller moments but those only serve to make the exciting plays (suicide squeezes and whatnot) that much more thrilling.

Thank God it's baseball season! Deadlines be damned on game day. This week, instead of TV, I am going to 2 games to watch my fave team. One is a night game. I'll eat ice cream and salty pretzel instead of peanuts and crackerjacks. The other is a day game on the 4th of July. What better way to celebrate our freedom!

**Updated 7/1/07 @ 6:17pm**

We won the rubber game!

Sunday, June 24, 2007

The Weggie Pizza

I had a co-worker, lovely person whom I worked well with and, let me say up front, whom I respected very much.

I enjoyed visiting her in her office full of good luck chachka and other assorted imported toys from some dollar or variety store that I'd never be able to locate.

She also had her own water cooler, candy dish and coffee pot which came in handy.

But she also had an accent that once in a while gave me a delicious thrill to put to the test. You see, she couldn't pronounce her "v" very well. Not that it ever mattered -- except this once. You see, we were having an office pizza party with co-workers from other offices. This was supposed to be a morale-building, recognition from upper management to the little guy kind of shindig. So we got... pizza, no salads included (cheapos!)

We got all the required pizzas to keep the staff happy: pepperoni, mushroom, meat lovers... and the weggie pizza! Te hee!

Childish me. But a cherished moment nonetheless.

Thursday, June 21, 2007

"Unremitting Bleakness" or, The Power of Words

I love words. Playing with words, combining them into quirky turns of phrase that make my friends laugh. Occasionally, ok, all too infrequently, I come across a few funnies that I have to add to my favorite words or phrases list. Anyone who knows me knows that I have a list of faves like oh, schadenfreude (You can look that one up on The Visual Thesaurus).

I really regret not getting to use that one more often...even though I feel it all the time. Bitch that I am.

This week, I read an article on Britain's banning of the video game, Manhunt 2. The reasons: "unremitting bleakness and callousness of tone ... and cumulative casual sadism in the way in which these killings are committed, and encouraged, in the game."

WOW! Now that's prose, my friends! Makes me want that game even more. I mean words like, "cumulative, casual sadism" and "unremitting bleakness" and "callousness of tone." Oh, revel for yourselves, my readers: read the news on Yahoo.

I've been in love since I read these words yesterday!

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Destination: Procrastination

I need to get a grip. I'm feeling seriously unmotivated right now. I have my WIP open right now. I psyched myself up earlier in the week and got some pages done but whew! What do I use now as motivation?!?! I got up at 5:30 this morning to write but didn't get much done so I'm on the hot seat now.

I have my workspace all hooked up the way I like it. The blogs have been checked and read and posted to. Dinner. Check. Dog walked. Mail opened. Called mom. I'm screwed. I gotta start writing.

Monday, June 18, 2007

No Plot? Uh-oh! Problems!

I righted the ship for the zillionith time. Thank God for for sig others, well, for my sig other. I got to talk through some serious issues I was having with the plot. To tell you how serious, he gifted me the book No Plot? No Problem!

I didn't appreaciate it; OK, I downright resented it. I mean, so what I spend hours in my little room with Buffy playing in the background. So what if I'm totally caught up on everything Lindsay Lohan. I mean, I need breaks don't I?!?

That reminds me of my high school study patterns (and why I subsequently didn't get into a better college). I called studying "play break". I had my priorities slightly skewed, kinda like my plot. My SO asked if I liked my characters and when I hesitated, and I swear it was just for a second, he nailed me with that "uh-oh" look and asked if I'd read the book. I said NO! Really, please!

I just need to get the momentum back going again after my couple weeks of running from this thing. The whole fear of success issues that I maybe ran from blogging about. But I did write over the weekend, I met my word count goals for each day and I have to get started. Like now!

Thursday, June 14, 2007

J.U.N.G.L.E.

When I was 4 or 5 years old, my mother made me sit at the kitchen table while she cooked dinner. I had to practice writing my name, address, the alphabet. And like any kid, I must have eaten up these moments, feeling as if I had her solely to myself. As an adult though, I know that it was probably a way to tether me to a seat and keep me in her sight. Not that I was a bad kid. I guess that she was a multi-tasker before it was truly popular.

But I digress. This is about writing after all...

I remember the first word that I ever spelled. While sitting performing one of these writing tasks. I put togehter a string of letters in an attmpt to spell something, anything! It read something like this:

AHTHIJGUOPLWHUNAKLEOTJKEOJUNGLEQRPASZMLKFREQW

And I asked my mom to "read" is and tell me if I spelled any words and she picked out jungle. I remember my elation to this day. I was so proud of myself and I read it over and over. And so I think that maybe, somehow, if I keep stringing paragraphs into chapters, I will have a book. It's not quite that simple but the concept of bilding something up until you hit upon something valuable, feels right.

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

I Want to Believe


I've been thinking about what's standing in my way... besides complacency, that is. That's way too simple. As I pile up the word count and the pages add up, I find that my progress is slower and slower. I have an outline, I have a synopsis for each chapter but I have a wall infront of finishing this thing.

I sit here and wonder why I can't pull the trigger on these pages even though I have the outline, etc. Why I can't think around some of the corners that I write myself into and I'm frustrated. Frustrated. Angry. Depressed. Not wanting to talk about progress and page counts. And now it's after 9pm and I'm just getting started writing for the evening... after I blog.

Ok, I should write not blog now.

But I worry about whether I have a strong voice, a compelling story. I want to believe, as all writers do, that I have something in the 115 pages or so that I've written. So I slog on, even on days when I'm feeling just a wee bit agnostic about this whole thing.

Monday, June 11, 2007

Angel and the Beast

So, I don't know what rock I was living under when Buffy came out but I'm addicted watching the first season on DVD. Buffy and Angel's first kiss was just so great. I am getting to rediscover so many things on DVD. I know that probably not that many people appreciated the short-lived Beauty and the Beast series from like 1980 but I got that recently too and can fall happily into my own little world and enjoy it.

Oh and I am writing tonight. Ok, I was watching Buffy at the time but I'm not too displeased with what I have so far tonight. Ok, the word count isn't there but... who's counting?!?

Yay for me!

Sunday, June 10, 2007

Simple Pleasures

The past couple of weekends have been very layed back and simple. I have taken to hanging laundry out on a clothesline. Instead of laundry being a chore, I now look forward to taking the clothes outside and hanging them to dry in the sun and wind. I didn't realize how relaxing it would be with the sun on my face, the dog napping just a few feet away and the wonderful smell of clean shirts and socks in the breeze.

On top of that, I feel good about saving energy and doing the 'green' thing. I remember as a kid we had a clothesline. I don't remember too much about it. My mom says that she remembers hanging clothes out for years and years, in the middle of winter. Bringing the clothes in all stiff and forsty. I don't know yet if I'll hang out in winter but I may. It's overcast today so I haven't risked putting out another load. No guilt about that!


Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Quelling the inner activist

DJ is stressing me out. I can feel it in my neck, even my hands were aching from gripping the mouse too tight. I don't think it's something I can correct with ergonomic chairs or soft grip pens. There's serious drama going down and I can't even really blog about it because I can't afford to have the powers-that-be read this.

And that just sucks because I like freedom. But I like my paycheck too.

So I'm choosing to shut my mouth and go with the program because I have to think about my future and my family. They depend on me. But I need me too. I need the me who is free, respects herself and calls it like it is. So because I can't have that and I have this conflict between my values and how I'm living, I'm even more stressed. I guess I'll just sit here and feed my inner activist peach sorbet, watch the idiot box and lose myself in my writing. Maybe someday that'll give me a less conscience-laden paycheck.

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

General Hospital and the Budding Writer

I remembered something from my childhood that I had almost completely buried. Well, if you knew me, you'd say that was a good thing. I purposely try not to remember a whole lot but this one was actually amusing...

In the fifth grade, I started a club. I think that the last period of the school day was devoted to club activities and I actually started one where I combined two of my greatest passions at the time: General Hospital and writing. I acutally wrote out very elaborate scripts and scenes for all my favorite characters and had them live the lives that I thought they should be leading on the show.

I guess I should say 'ah, how very apropos' but I'm not actually writing anything anymore... Ok, I am but just not making that great fifth grade progress. I don't really finish anything anymore.

I guess I had all that free time (and a whole period devoted to my spending my time on my passion.) Why can't that be my life now?!?! Imagine if my employer gave me an hour a day in which I pursued my passion. That's lunchtime I supposed, but I all too often find myself pursuing their passions and my paycheck. Humph!

BTW - made some progress on the WIP last night - just not enough. 2,000 words. On a normal day, that would be good. Deadline time though. Going back under now!

Monday, May 28, 2007

Deadlines and Daydreaming

I have a deadline that I let get way too close without a care in the world. Now, I'm just a few days off of d-day and I've no pages to show for it. The deadline is imposed by a group of people who are all working to achieve personal goals. My goal was to write a certain number of pages. I'm woefully behind. Why? No good excuses but I will try to push through. I seem to always struggle with putting myself in a corner in some way.

"No one puts Baby in a corner."

Oh - that's not my life...

Let's see, I've had strep. That sucked a lot of energy. I've caught up on all my TV shows. Entourage this season was awesome. Lost was ok. The Office was one of the bets things on tv. Oh, and I daydream a lot.

I've totally changed my diet. I'm going vegetarian and organic. Loving that. That's giving me a lot more energy but my face is breaking out from my organic sunscreen. I'm a mess.

Deadline looms. I'm off...

Friday, May 18, 2007

Way Too Much Time

I have spent way too much time on my most recent obsession -- researching organic products. While this does qualify as a sub-genre of my reading passion and is, in a roundabout way, a natural branch off the writing tree, it in no way helps my progress on the current WIP.

But, I digress... going green is fun and rewarding. I swear I feel better. Who needs exercise when you can just restrict chemicals entering your body? That's given me plenty of energy lately.

Oh and today is my day off from the DJ though DJ loves to intrude. Got a stressful call. Things are a'changing and I'm a typical taurus, very change averse -- unless it's my idea of course.

And I have to watch the entire first season of Buffy... under penalty of a severe tongue lashing or mild beratement at the least.

Thursday, May 17, 2007

Red Alert

Ok ~ so I have to deal with stress. Don't we all? I am just feeling major pressure to meet my own personally set page count goals for the month while slogging through my DJ (day job). I was supposed to be up at 5 again but didn't make it up until about 6 -- way too close to the time I have to start getting ready for the DJ.

Stress makes me feel like my body is in a constant state of red alert. It's like having a low grade fever... but all the time. I was tempted to say that today was going to be a bad day but I can't slip into negativity or I'll be there for the next week.

Here's my list o' positives:

1. I have been getting up early and writing. (I will not touch on the lack of real progress but whatevs...)
2. I am blogging (though self-indulging and a distraction from writing)
3. I am all caught up on Tivo (I did miss Lost last night and will have to dodge all discussions therein.)
4. Eating healthy. Seriously, this is the only thing keeping me alive.

List o' improvements:

1. Need to follow my outline and trust in it
2. Need to make real progress
3. Need a day off from the DJ.
4. Day off is tomorrow!

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

The Ugly Side of Five...

That's AM. Im out of bed. Set off the house alarm because I'm stupid so early. But I have to put in the time to get the writing back on track. It's kinda crazy though because I have to go give blood this morning w/o having eaten anything since last night. I'll probably fall on my ass.

But when else can the unpubbed actually write? Has to be early AM or late PM or, in my case both because I have to get this monkey off my back. I have to actually finish a project.

Sunday, May 13, 2007

Day 10

It's day 10 of no writing...even though I want to quit my day job... well, I know I can quit my day job and be woefully unemployed but I'm looking for step up, a life-affirming career change. Not destitution, despair and dpression. Heading there now.